Letters to the Editor

Problem Pages

True Stories **
** At least our editor swears that they're true. But he's a lying toerag.


Dear Pauline ......

I never thought it could happen to me. One minute I’m enjoying the good life, lounging on the front porch of our Scottish beach cottage. The next moment I’m swimming for my life in the frigid North Sea. You see, the porch collapsed while I was taking a nap and since it hung out over the ocean, I fell with all of the debris to the wetness below.

The water was rough that day and it was tough to keep my head above the relentless chop. I gasped for breath whenever I could and felt myself being swept out to sea. I would soon find myself 1200 miles from the beach-house, on a small island. With no food or fresh water, it looked like my life would soon be coming to an end. The only thing I had in my pockets was a copy of my short term car insurance that I had purchased before starting my holiday. It was soaked, of course, but I laid it on a warm rock and it soon dried out completely.

I spent the first night cold and scared. I would never see my wife or any of my girlfriends again. There would be many sad women across the country, once word of my demise spread. I welcomed the warm sunrise the following morning. It really helped me thaw out and I was feeling a little better than the night before. I was still hungry though and I had no idea what I could do about it. There were no animals or plants on my tiny island.

I read my short term car insurance policy over and over again. It was the only thing to do as I awaited my certain death. It turned out to be a pretty interesting read. There is a lot of fine print on a short term car insurance policy and I finally had the time to read it all. I thought that it was well written, but a tad short on action and suspense. When I was done reading, I noticed a pack of matches had washed ashore. They were a soggy mess, but I laid them on the rock as well and soon they were usable again.

As the sun set on that second day, I noticed a freighter off in the distance. I set my short term car insurance policy on fire and waved it in the air. They finally saw my distress signal and veered toward my direction. When the freighter drew near, they sent a lifeboat with two men to come pick me up. I climbed aboard the raft and was taken to safety.

Buy some short term car insurance today. It may save your life, too, one day.