Letters to the Editor

Problem Pages

True Stories **
** At least our editor swears that they're true. But he's a lying toerag.

 

Dear Pauline ......

I was driving through a part of town I wasn’t too familiar with. It was mostly industrial buildings and run-down factories. I had just received my new short term car insurance policy and I wanted to go for a drive. It’s not required that a person go for a drive when they buy short term car insurance, but I’m sure it’s quite common.

I stopped at a red light and noticed that across the street was a woman by herself. There were no other cars or people anywhere in sight, so I pulled over when the light turned green and walked up to the woman. The poor thing was all dressed up in a nice dress and high heels, but it appeared something had happened to her outfit. Perhaps it had shrunk from an earlier rain. Her skirt was very high and her blouse apparently had lost some buttons, as it was opened much further down than most.

I talked to the woman for a few minutes, but she kept asking me if I wanted to go on a date. I told her I didn’t date people I just met on the street corner and she walked away. I followed her and watched her ask a man that walked by if he wanted a date too. He just shook his head and kept walking. I approached her again and asked why she was trying to get a date with every man she met. I also suggested she go home and change her shrunken clothes and then maybe find a better lit area to meet a man. She told me if I didn’t want to go on a date, to leave her alone. I was concerned with her dating techniques, but did as she wished.

As I was driving away, I saw a police car parked along the street a couple of blocks ahead. I pulled next to it and rolled down the passenger window to speak with the officer. I told him about the poor woman with the shrunken clothes asking everyone for a date. The cop just laughed and told me she was a lady of the night. I told him I realized she was a woman out at night. He corrected me, explaining she was a woman OF the night. I told him I had short term car insurance and left, confused.

When I told my wife about the incident, she became very mad with me. She said I should have brought her home for a hot meal. I explained that she was determined to get a date and I didn’t think she would come back home with me. My wife handed me £50 and instructed me to go back and offer her cash to come home with me. I did and she climbed right in the car. While driving home I told her about my short term car insurance. She made me stop the car then ran off. I guess I'll never understand women.