
Letters to the Editor |
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Problem Pages |
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True Stories **
** At least our editor swears that
they're true. But he's a lying
toerag. |
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Dear Pauline ......
A priest, a rabbi and a politician were sitting at a
bar late one night. The priest was a little drunk and was complaining
about the cost of insurance for the Popemobile. The politician advised
the priest to increase taxes on retirement pensions to pay for it. The
rabbi thought it would be a good idea to replace the Popemobile with a
more economical vehicle. Neither recommendation sounded like a good idea
to the priest and he ordered another round of drinks.
The priest asked his drinking mates if either of them knew about short
term car insurance. The rabbi said he had heard of short term car
insurance, but didn’t know any details about it. However, he knew a
friend who could get it wholesale. The politician said he would raise
taxes on the poor and use the money to study the issue for a few years.
The rabbi said that sounded like a lot of work to find out about short
term car insurance, but the politician said it would be no problem.
Besides, the politician explained, when the study was completed, any
findings would be completely ignored.
The rabbi wanted to know why the Pope needed the big Popemobile to drive
around in. He said it would be better to just put the Pope in a
bullet-proof outfit and have him ride in a cheap old banger. The priest
was taken aback with the recommendation. He explained how regal the
Popemobile is and it would be a travesty for the Pope to be seen in some
common rag-top. The politician suggested he trade the Popemobile in for
an armoured limousine. No one could see the Pope in a limo, but he would
be safe while traveling and it might be pretty cheap to protect him with
a short term car insurance policy. There would have to be a special
loading on the premium because of the extra weight but a special tax
could be levied on the unemployed to pay for it.
After some more drinks, the three men became very intoxicated and
unruly. As is often the case when the three started getting drunk, the
barman worried how to handle them. He couldn’t throw them out of the bar
like regular drunks. He had to treat these sops with caution or the
politician might raise his taxes and the two clergymen might somehow
cause him to go to hell. He was scared of hell, so he just kept pouring.
It was eerie, the barman thought, how much the three really had in
common. They were all public figures, they never worked a day in their
lives and they were all raging alcoholics. Although they were
technically serving the needs of the common people, they never had to
experience what regular folks do. They never had to stand in line for a
table or worry about their retirements.
Finally at closing time, the barman was able to usher the three men out
the front door into the night. They each got into their own cars and
swerved their way home. The barman wondered if they had short term car
insurance, so that their no claims bonuses would be protected when they
finished up in the ditch by the side of the road, as they did every
Friday.

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