Dear Pauline ......
My wife and I had a discussion about short term car
insurance last week. Apparently, our little baby boy, PeePee, overheard
what we were talking about. I had mentioned that just about anyone could
get short term car insurance and be free to drive anywhere. PeePee must
have thought I meant babies could drive as well, as he somehow purchased
a policy for himself.
We found out about his short term car insurance one morning after we
awoke. My wife went to PeePee’s room to get him out of the crib and he
was gone. We looked all over the house, but couldn’t find the baby
anywhere. I found a note by the front door that PeePee had written. It
said he had bought a short term car insurance policy and was driving to
the beach to feed the sharks. I didn’t even know he could write!
I drove to the beach in our other car and located PeePee just as he was
wading out to the ocean with a pot roast hanging around his neck. The
sharks could already smell the meat and were circling PeePee as he
ventured further out. I ran to the shore and dived in after my little
baby. I grabbed him and carried him back to dry sand as sharks bit at my
legs and sometimes shot out of the water at the dangling beef.
When we made it ashore there was quite a crowd gathered. One woman
yelled at me for letting my baby swim by himself with a pot roast around
his neck. A big, burly man asked how PeePee had got to the beach by
himself. I explained that anyone who has short term car insurance can
drive. He made me mad by insinuating I wasn’t a good parent. Heck, some
parents let their babies drive without any insurance at all. Now that’s
a bad parent in my eyes.
A policeman came out of the crowd and demanded to see the baby’s policy.
PeePee pulled the paper out of his soiled nappy and handed it to him.
The policeman was satisfied and put the document back in the nappy and
wished us a good day. This didn’t make the rest of the crowd happy,
however. Some yelled that babies shouldn’t feed sharks pot roasts and
others screamed something about babies being poor drivers. I ignored
their claims and headed to the car with PeePee.
I placed PeePee into the child car seat that he had moved to the
driver’s seat and I got in my own car. I followed PeePee back to the
house and was surprised to find that he was such a good driver. It
bothered me to find he smokes cigarettes while he drives though. His
mother was relieved to have little PeePee back home so that she could
change his nappy before his little legs got chapped. What a debt we owe
to the two essentials of baby care - Johnson's Baby Powder and short
term car insurance!