Dear Pauline ......
I had never been to a bullfight until I went on
holiday to Mexico one summer with my wife. She really wanted to see the
running of the bulls in Spain, but I convinced her that a bullfight in
Ensenada would be just as much fun. Besides, we could stay at any hotel
in town for £5 and eat tacos for every meal. My wife loves tacos and
once ate 32 of them for breakfast. Sure, she’s a large girl, but 32
tacos for breakfast is quite a feat. She was concerned that we would
need short term car insurance during our trip, but I explained to her
that you only need short term car insurance if you're going to be
driving a car. Since we were flying to Mexico and taking taxis wherever
we went, short term car insurance would not be necessary. However, she
bought a policy anyway, just in case. It covered us for EU countries and
I'm pretty sure that includes Mexico.
When we arrived at our hotel, I was pleased to see there were dozens of
cockroaches all around the room. We both love to play with cockroaches,
so I thought it was a nice touch by the hotel staff. Back home, my wife
is somewhat of a hero in the cockroach-breeding community. She has
crossed many different species of roaches, creating some beautiful
specimens that people just love to see. Her best cockroach experiment
resulted in a roach with 100 legs. She had crossed a centipede with a
cockroach and had wondrous results.
The next morning I woke up excited. We were going to our very first
bullfight and we were both thrilled. We put on the ponchos and sombreros
we bought the night before from a gentleman on the street. They cost 8
million pesos (£3) and fit like a glove. We looked like real locals as
we entered the bullfighting arena and everyone seemed to be impressed by
our colourful attire. Somehow, the people mistook me for someone else,
as they kept yelling out “Gringo!” as we walked to our seats. I just
waved and tipped my sombrero to them.
Our seats were located on the first row overlooking the magnificent
grounds. There were a lot of flies in the air and the weather was a
little hot to be wearing our heavy ponchos. My wife likes to sweat
though, so we just bought a couple of beers and waited for the fight to
begin. I could see the bull waiting outside the ring. He was a menacing
beast with thick, broad shoulders and a ring through his nose.
Soon, they let the bull into the arena and the crowd went wild!
Unfortunately, the bull charged right at my wife and me wearing our
bright red sombreros. At the last second, my wife pulled out a copy of
our short term car insurance details and waved it at the bull.
Apparently the bull had never seen such low rates and had a heart attack
on the spot and died. This was just as well since when I read the policy
I realised that since we were not in a car at the time, we would not
have been covered against attack by bulls.