Letters to the Editor

Problem Pages

True Stories **
** At least our editor swears that they're true. But he's a lying toerag.


Dear Pauline ......

Best known for his big red nose and floppy shoes, Bozo has enjoyed a long career in both the entertainment and short term car insurance industries. Although short term car insurance is a serious subject, Bozo brings a level of humour and knowledge to this thriving industry and his clients say he’s the best insurance agent they have ever met.

Part of his success can surely be attributed to his famous motto, “Buy a policy and Beep my Nose”. Short term car insurance shoppers have a hard time resisting the opportunity to beep the famous clown’s nose and his business has continued to grow for decades. Often belittled by other agents for his unorthodox business habits, it’s hard to argue that his formula for success isn’t effective.

Bozo grew up as a poor, little, orphan clown in a small village by the ocean. Each week, he would see travellers from around the world depart from the large freighters that docked at the village’s port. He was amazed at the variety of the visitors. They were all shapes, sizes, ages and colours. But one thing he didn’t see at the docks, were other clowns. He wondered where he originally came from and if there were other little boy-clowns somewhere in a distant land.

When Bozo turned 13, he sneaked aboard a freighter that was pulling away from the docks. He had no idea where it was going and didn’t care. He had decided to travel his entire life, if necessary, to find the land of clowns, from which he came. He hid in the storage area below decks, surviving by eating lipstick that was being transported in the large crates. He would later admit to being addicted to eating lipstick and his bright red lips became part of his regular look.

One day, the ship pulled into a large harbour in a far away land called England. While the crew was busy unloading cargo, Bozo slipped off the ship and into town. He walked the streets in amazement, taking in the new sights and sounds. He saw no other clowns around, but he also noticed something else. He noticed that there was nowhere to buy short term car insurance. He decided to stay and open his own short term car insurance office and a legend was born. Soon the entire city was full of temporary policy holding patrons and a new industry was launched.

Bozo eventually married and had a couple of little clowns of his own.